Welcome to Healthy Exchange ...your quarterly online newsletter from the FIT/UCE Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Each issue provides information to help you better deal with personal, family or work-related concerns.
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Winter 2016 Edition
Marriage Improvement Tips
Marriage is a choice and an ongoing commitment. There may be times when you question being married. These doubts are normal and need to be looked at…instead of acted out.
Marriage takes work. Consider what would happen if you gave as much effort to your marriage as you give your job? The fun, joy and fulfillment of marriage comes from devoting time, attention and direction to it.
If you are experiencing marriage difficulties, define the issue and identify your feelings about it. Share your concerns with your partner so you can work together to solve the problem. The following suggestions may help you make your relationship more satisfying.
Nurturing your marriage
Practice the following to help you improve the quality of your marriage:
- Make your marriage a priority. The art of relating is a never-ending process. It doesn’t come naturally and has to be learned. There are always challenges as well as joys.
- Treat your partner with as much politeness, respect and importance as you would a stranger, business contact or friend. Make appointments to get together and keep them.
- Don’t avoid relationship challenges. Face them head on. Learning to get through adversity will make your marriage stronger.
- When something isn’t working in your relationship, make a plan and agree how you will both handle the situation. Make adjustments when needed.
- Take responsibility for your own behavior instead of trying to change the other person. You have no control over your partner’s behavior, you can only change yourself.
- Cultivate contentment and gratitude by giving your full attention to your partner when you spend time with them. This will help you recreate your love for each other each day.
- Ask for what you want assertively. Learn the difference between commands and requests. Use them appropriately to get your needs met.
- Learn to be patient with your partner and yourself.
- Support the other person in doing things their way, even if you don’t agree.
- Give yourself permission to get outside help when necessary.